We’ve all experienced fear.
I know I have in my life without a doubt.
Some experiences I had as a child and young adult remain branded in my memory and are still unexplained to this day.
Things that brought me such fear that I didn’t want to go to sleep at night.
Truly scary, teeth-chattering, life-altering fear.
The kind that grabs you into its cruel horrific clutches and violently shakes you down to the core of your being with lasting terror and unforgettable fright.
The kind of fear that gnaws at you even after you’ve awakened from the nightmare.
Or…was it a nightmare?
These are the kinds of things I prefer to leave in the past and not open the door to invite them back into my experience as an adult.
Fear was something that had a stronghold on my life for a number of years.
I was surrounded by a tremendous amount of severe dysfunction growing up. I would have horrific nightmares, and they seemed so very real to me that I thought I wasn’t asleep when they happened.
I would wake up in a cold sweat.
My heart pounding like I had just run the final leg of a race to the finish line.
Desperately trying to decide if it was all real or just a dream.
I had no clue about mindfulness back then.
I truly wish I had.
What Fear Truly Is
Fear is a natural emotion for us. It may not be one we enjoy, but it is important to realize that fear is usually triggered by uncertainty or by the unknown.
It’s basically a survival mechanism, alerting us to danger.
These days, fear can take on less substantial forms.
We can have anxiety about the future.
Fear of failure…or success!
Even irrational worrying can definitely come into play.
The eerie atmosphere of Halloween can tend to bring out ghosts, ghouls, and spooky thoughts of one sort or another after watching a marathon of horror movies late at night in the dark…especially if we’re alone!
Whatever it is that brings you fear, instead of allowing it to drown us in a sea of overwhelm, we can learn to release it through the practice of mindfulness.
I have been saying lately that “fear is our own worst enemy.” And there’s a lot of truth to that.
Digging into our mindfulness toolkit to stay present and observe the fearful thoughts and emotions we have without judgment can get us back on the right path.
Being mindful helps us understand the fear and understand it more effectively while not spinning out of control in that emotional spiral we sometimes allow ourselves to get sucked into.
Rather than running from it or letting it control us, we can face our spooky thoughts with curiosity and compassion, ultimately freeing ourselves from their grasp on us.
Let’s break things down a bit to better understand how using mindfulness can combat those unwanted and underlying fears.
Understanding the Nature of Fear
Fear often begins in our minds. Thoughts are led down the rabbit hole of uncertainty and insecurity with thoughts that get bigger and scarier leading to heightened anxiety.
You know what I’m talking about here…
The sweaty palms. The rapid heartbeat. That feeling of wanting to flee and get ourselves to a safer place.
We may expect things going wrong, create worst-case scenarios, or dwell on uncertainties.
All this leads to is panic, which in turn makes things worse.
In his work on fear titled The Gift of Fear, author Gavin de Becker notes that “fear is a survival signal that sounds only in the presence of danger,” yet our minds often generate fear unnecessarily, confusing perceived threats with real danger.
During Halloween, our imagination tends to ramp up that fear factor. Haunted houses, horror movies, and ghost stories feed into the idea of lurking threats.
However, most of these fears are irrational, rooted in fictional ideas or mental constructs.
By practicing mindfulness, we can separate reality from the stories our minds create, allowing us to confront fear with clarity.
Uncertainty In Our Own Society
As a society, we worry so much…too much, about everything it seems. It’s its own type of fear.
Will he like me? Will she like me? Will they like me? Will we like them?
We worry about getting the job. We worry about losing the job.
We’re overconsumed with how we look and what our social status is.
Are we saving enough for retirement? Is retirement even an option?
What is this lump we’re feeling? Why are we being sent to an oncologist suddenly? Isn’t that a cancer specialist?
What aren’t people telling us? What aren’t we telling them?
Why are they looking at us like that? Why did that guy make a rude hand gesture to us at the intersection? Why is he now lying on his horn behind me?
Why aren’t those people minding their own business? Why aren’t we minding our own business?
Why does my boss want to know so much about our personal life? Why don’t we have a personal life?
Why can’t we just figure this all out?
Using Mindfulness to Face Fear
Mindfulness offers an effective way to break the cycle of fear by bringing us back to the present moment.
Instead of being consumed by spooky or fearful thoughts, mindfulness encourages us to sit with those thoughts, observe them, and understand that they won’t be sticking around for long.
Start by taking a moment to sit quietly and focus on your breath. Notice the fear that arises without trying to push it away or analyze it.
Instead, allow it to exist and pay attention to the physical sensations that come with it—perhaps a tightness in the chest, a rapid heartbeat, or tension in the shoulders.
Simply observing these sensations without judgment allows us to acknowledge the fear, giving it space to dissipate naturally.
As author Tara Brach explains in her book Radial Acceptance, “When we lean in with mindfulness and compassion, we can untangle ourselves from fear’s grip.”
The Power of Non-Judgmental Awareness
A key aspect of mindfulness is non-judgmental awareness. This means recognizing spooky or fearful thoughts without labeling them as “bad” or trying to suppress them.
When we resist or deny fear, it tends to grow stronger. Instead, accepting these thoughts as part of the human experience allows us to move through them more effectively.
For example, if you’re haunted by recurring worries or anxious thoughts, you might say to yourself, “I’m feeling fear right now.”
Acknowledging fear without being consumed by it opens the door to being able to release it.
According to a study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy, people who practiced mindful acceptance of their fears reported significantly less distress than those who tried to avoid or suppress their emotions.
Be Gone Spooky Thoughts! Be Gone!
Letting go of spooky thoughts doesn’t mean erasing them from your mind entirely—it means loosening their grip on you.
Mindfulness allows us to see fear as a passing cloud rather than something permanent. As we practice mindfulness regularly, we become more skilled at recognizing fear for what it is…just another thought or sensation in the mind.
To release unwelcome and fearful thoughts, consider using visualization techniques during meditation. Imagine each fearful thought as a leaf floating down a stream or a cloud drifting across the sky.
Watch them pass without holding on.
By doing so, you train your mind to let go and release these fears, giving them less power over your well-being, your sense of inner peace, and your life.
While spooky thoughts and fears are part of life, they don’t have to dominate our minds or run our life. Through mindfulness, we can confront fear, observe it without judgment, and release its hold on us.
By embracing the present moment and letting go of attachment to fearful thoughts, we can acquire inner peace and resilience. It takes some work, but it’s worth it when you do it.
The next time fear creeps in, whether it’s a Halloween-induced fright, a deeper anxiety, a childhood experience, or anxiety you can’t break free from, remember that you have the tools to mindfully navigate and release it from yourself.
MY MINDFUL REQUEST:
I’d love to hear from you! Send me a message letting me know what you’ve overcome with the practice of mindfulness and what that fear was that you overcame!